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Bio |
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Brian S. Wise, former embryo, was allowed to gestate fully and was therefore born in South Bend, Indiana on Tuesday, 07 November, 1972 (the day Richard Nixon was elected to his second term). He was adopted into the Wise family at the age of one month. Basically a writer of "fiction" and "plays" throughout childhood, he began political writing from the day he converted to Republicanism (in August 1993), releasing three gut-wrenchingly terrible books in quick succession: The Greatest Trust (on 01 January 1994), The Urgency of Now, (01 January 1995), and The Simple Act of Reasonable Thought (01 January 1996). A fourth book, the only slightly less awful The 5 Minutes of Silence, was released on 17 August 1998. About these books Wise once said, "They were all awful. This was before I knew someone could effectively self-publish ... each of them were printed and bound at Kinko's and sold for cost. Which, now that I think about it, is the treatment they deserved. Even though they were horrible, I learned a tremendous amount from having written and promoted them." Wise's fifth book, the remarkably awesome and exceptionally salient and witty The Unabrian Manifesto, was released on 01 January 2006 and is available as a free download by clicking here. Upon reading The Unabrian Manifesto, four-time New York Times bestselling author Bernard Goldberg said, "[Wise] is a gem: smart, funny, and merciless when it comes to nailing the morons in our culture." On 24 January 2006, Wise announced that his sixth offering, Lincoln's Tomb, was in the research phase. More or less beat to the punch by the release of Thomas J. Craughwell's wonderful book Stealing Lincoln's Body, all work on Lincoln's Tomb ceased on 19 March 2007. Wise was awarded his first regular column by a small weekly newspaper in April 1997. Following months of squabbles with the paper's editor, he left in December 1997 and took his act to the Internet in January 1998, where he was basically read by twelve people (in total, not at any one time) before attaining some wide recognition for deeming the Clinton-Lewinsky sex scandal "Weinergate," running an "Al Gore in '98" campaign, and offering daily updates on (what amounted to) his website. He received his first death threat in August 2000, following the release of an essay ("Parents Television Council v. World Wrestling Federation") to several professional wrestling fan sites. Sadly, this piece of personal history (in the form of an email) was lost to the ether during a move. After floating around in the morass for a few years, Wise was invited to become the lead columnist at IntellectualConservative.com in January 2002, where he proudly served until August 2004, when he resigned over an editorial dispute (that seems to be ongoing). BrianWise.com opened the next month. Due mainly to Left-wing conspiracies and government level international intrigue, Wise has written only sparingly since 2005, including a brief flurry of activity in early 2007, and then again in early 2008. All told, the "In Dissent" column has been read on the Rush Limbaugh show (28 January 2004), referenced in Northwestern University's Journal of Criminal Law and Criminology (2004; volume 94, number 3, page 516), chosen for inclusion in a writing class at Ohio Northern University (English 111: Writing II, Spring 2003), as well as a Journalism class at the University of California at Berkeley (Education 98, Section 2: Introduction to Literature - ultimately, the column "What Did Paul Hornung Say?" was not used). But other than mentions on a few local radio shows and a very brief slap and tickle with a producer from Fox News Channel, Wise has appeared only on the Richard Dixon radio show (WAPI, AM 1070; Birmingham, Alabama). He goes back and forth on the question of whether becoming a media whore would have been good for his career, but generally speaking, the vast majority of media requests will be denied, unless in the name of book promotion. One of the world's few straight confirmed bachelors, Wise lives alone, has one son (who shall remain nameless) and two cats, as his lease would not allow dogs (Liviya and Reagan; the latter named after the former president). He also wrote this bio in the third person, mainly because hiring someone to do it would have been a tremendous reach, not to mention an extraordinary waste of money. |
Captured image of the author's first national television appearance.
Extraordinarily accurate self-portrait, 2005.
The author, 9 months; August 1973.
Nearly two; September 1974.
With Santa, aged two; December 1974.
Membership photo on my "Future Pimps of America" ID card; aged three, 1975.
Nearly five, October 1977. I still make both those faces.
With Shep, beloved childhood pet (rest in peace), aged five; December 1977.
Large and in charge: Putting the final touches on adopting my brother, February 1980; aged seven. From left to right - my father, the judge, me, my brother (aged four months) and my mother, may she rest in peace (d. 19 March 1985).
Eleventh birthday party crowd, I think; November 1983. From left to right - Chris Lilly, Julie Fuzey, my brother, me, pet hamster, Peter Yuen.
The author, with Bailey the dog (rest in peace), sainted pet of Heather Ross (taking this picture); aged 18, October 1991.
Newly minted long haired Republican; Summer 1995, aged 22.
End result of near fatal car crash, January 1996.
Happy enough to be alive; aged 24, Thanksgiving 1996.
Fat, basically hairless, and indifferent: in a Las Vegas hotel room, May 1998.
First and last time seeing the World Trade Center towers in person; 31 December 1999. |
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